find a way back into it

Fate and hardwork. Which one do you believe the most?

Referring to Andrew's blogpost, about SAT test where he puts my SMS to him on it, the one that says 'Kalo emg jalan lu k Sing, pasti lu k sana! Ayo smgt! =]'. I smsed this one to him not for calming reason. The truth is, I kinda believe in what I said, that we might have tried the hell out of ourselves, but if the road's not going there, you won't be there.

How hard I might try for everything, sometimes I find it fits my expectation, sometimes not. I know myself, if it's not my road, i won't be there howsoever. I'm not saying this so you don't have to work hard for everything you want, but in the end, we will finally know what we'll get, and it's not what we've known from the start.

So, keep working hard, I know it hurts when your dreams seem to fall apart, but, hey, it shows that it's not your road, you have your undiscovered road waiting ahead, there should be no regrets about it. On the other side, if it is really your road, you're gonna be in it howsoever, just believe that you have one.

You have one, and it awaits. There's no need to regret what you seem to lose.

Nites.

hello

Friday ramblings. Hello. I feel weird today. Somehow. But though before I say anything, I love my friends. Today's been nice. Several keeping ups, several times trying to enjoy the day. I love you. That's why I keep looking for you. It's something in me that says I don't want to miss a second being not with you. Maybe it's cliche. Maybe you hear it too often. But it's just, I never lie. Hum. I read about some beautiful places, oh, I remember what Bel said back in the lobby. Or, was it Nev? I don't really remember. About beautiful places. But what to do, where to go, what to share, if you have no one. At that second I felt my thank to you. After all, this is a good day. I remember yesterday, last night when D smsed me and I tried to answer some questions. Sometimes I wanna help people, you know. But like last night, I was really afraid I gave or said wrong advice. Hum. Pretty complicated. Though I succeeded to say several things I thought he needed. Morning. This morning. It's never been any better when you receive an sms frm someone you dear all night, wakes you up and says good morning. I'm happy. Thanks. I finished some tasks today. I collected chem books to the lab. I collected lit tasks to the teachrs room. I forgot to hand something to the yearbook committee, though. Maybe tomorrow. Hey. Tonight's friday night. For me, I always love friday night. It's like the horizon of the week. The moment between your hectic days and resting days. No burden. I used to listen to Radio One and fall asleep by sweet songs it played. Now, not anymore. They moved the programs to where I don't know. So, it will be just me and my nokia tonight. Hum. Saying thank you to all people greeted me and hugged me and chatted with me all day long, you've made my day. Suddenly in the middle of the day, I missed having an earphone. I used to enjoy my songs, mellow ones through it, now not anymore, I broke earphones several times, traumatized to not buy a new one. But this morning, I just missed some songs I used to play. I love you all. Have a great weekend guys. Let's get lost in the night, tonight, friday night. Loves.

segera dekatku

segera dekatku, sayang
hati ini sungguh mau, entah hatimu
untuk lebih dekat denganmu
sedekat selubung kelabu awan dengan tetes hujan
sedekat dua burung gereja yang sedang bermesraan

segera dekatku, sayang
seraya menghitung mundur hari-hari kita di bumi
dan aku tak mau kehilangan sedetik pun tanpa dekat denganmu
bolehkah cinta ini dibawa berdua sampai ke alam sana?
ke mana saja, asal berdua
dan tangan ini tak akan membiarkanmu kedinginan
tetap memelukmu, hanya kehangatan
yang diri ini bisa beri
selain cinta sampai mati

segera dekatku, sayang
aku tak mau awan sore menjemputmu pulang
dan meninggalkanku di gelap malam, sendirian
hati ini pun tak di sini, hilang kau curi
hingga resah tak terkira, menunggu datangnya pagi
untuk kembali dekat denganmu

segera dekatku, sayang
aku ingin membisikkan
beberapa patah kata cinta luapan hati
yang tak terbendung lagi
supaya kau bisa mengerti
bahwa aku cinta mati

speaking of

Hum. For me, people have personal qualities. I've met many people, with a broad range of personalities. I get along with some of them, I don't with some others. I'm not a perfect person, I myself don't have a perfect personality to show. But, I have some classifications of theirs.

In every people, I quite notice, and try to do so, the thing called 'being driven by your needs' factor. Mood. We have moods, it's personal. But, how it affects people on their work, varies from one person to another. Yap, have ever noticed it, haven't you?

You could just try to answer this one problem, and I will try to analyse you.

You have planned to go shopping since last week, you know it's gonna be so fun, and you're ready for it. But then, it begins to rain and you have to make twice of an effort to go out, and some friends call it off. What do you have in mind?

1. Friends call it off, it's raining, what's more to bring down my mood? I prefer staying at home and sleeping because I feel like I want to do so due to the falling rain which makes me feel a little bit sleepy, and I don't care, I could probably go shopping tomorrow and call friends to simply put it off.

2. It's raining, but I have an umbrella with me. Maybe I will get a little bit sleepy, but I will go to the nearest shop, change the plan, and go back home sooner than I've planned. At least I get what I need to shop today, and I don't owe anything to my friends, sticking to the plan.

3. Raining? It doesn't bother at all. Friends have made plan with me, they may have prioritized this one, they will be there sticking to the plan. I said to them that I need them to shop together, and I believe they also have things they've planned too, I can't just ruin their days or put off the plan, because I've planned it myself and we are into this together.

Which one do you think you will have in mind?

How much of this factor is in you? Are you pro enough to have closely zero of this factor?

I, myself, is not driven by my mood closely at all. I prefer holding my words to being controlled by mood. I don't think it's great enough, because you literally have to not make every decisions only by your all rational senses, but also with your emotions. I'm the number 3. I care about people who are affected by my doing, so I never let my emotions control.

But I also quite dislike people who are solely driven by their moods, like, they could cancel one big thing just because they don't feel like doing it. Duhh? I think being that way is being a non-pro person.

Let me give you an example. What if our president said tonight that he didn't want to rule anymore just because he lost his mood? What if the man who has to control the biological security of an atomic bomb lost his mood of keeping it safe and destroy all of us?

So. Which one are you?

did it

Ya. Selesai sudah minggu siksa dunia yang nista itu. TO resmi satu minggu sudah kelar. Hari-hari di mana saya tidur jam satu pagi (seriously did this only once back in my last year exams days). Hari-hari di mana saya pengen banget ke Thamrin, Trunojoyo, dan Menteng.

That, was yesterday.

Hari ini pergi ke Djakarta Theatre dgn Kevin dkk lalu jalan di trotoar Thamrin yang keren di waktu malam sambil foto di tengah jalan yang kebetulan lagi ga ada mobil itu sampe ke EX. Thamrin, i did it.

Besok? Besok minggu. Senin Nyepi. Lalu sekolah saya libur sampe hari rabu. Hurahh. Mau ngapain?

Saya besok ke Bandung. Trunojoyo, you're next. Di post saya sebelumnya saya pengen banget ke sini, bisa nyore sambil ditudungi pepohonan plus diberati tentengan blanja, seneng banget bisa terwujud besok. Hehehe. Another plans? Selasa ke Senayan City, Rabu hopefully ke PIM. Yeah.

It's payback time!

XD

Happy Holidays, Guys!

trunojoyo

Lagi pengen ke Jalan Trunojoyo, Bandung, ngeborong tas di antara toko-toko distro keren berpepohonan super rindang. Pengen. Pengen. Pengen.

Tapi, ngebayangin selalu lebih damai dan exciting daripada menjalankan, iya ga?

Nites.

and I'm telling you

Hueh. Pasti udah denger dong "And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going"?

Lagu yang sekarang jadi super hit, dinyanyiin terakhir sama Jennifer Hudson - Dreamgirls dan Lakisha Jones - American Idol. Ternyata, ada banyak banget versi lagu ini dari sejak debut pertama lagu ini, 1981. Dreamgirls dulunya adalah pentas Broadway, dengan lead actressnya Jennifer Holiday, sebelum dibuat versi layar lebarnya Dreamgirls tahun 2006. And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going adalah theme songnya. FYI, Jennifer Holiday persis banget posturnya sama Jennifer Hudson.

Well. Selain versi Jennifer Holiday, Jennifer Hudson, dan Lakisha Jones, masih banyak versi yang lain. Saya pertama kali denger lagu ini di YouTube, dinyanyiin oleh Bianca Ryan. Sumpah, saya jatuh cinta sama anak kecil umur 11th bersuara luar biasa ini. Sampe akhirnya saya nyari semua versi di YouTube, cinta saya jadi terbagi dua, ya, hanya dua, satu lagi ke Regine Velasquez.

Luar biasa. Bianca Ryan dan Regine Velasquez. Luar biasa. Bianca Ryan adalah pemenang mutlak America's Got Talent 2006. Regine Velasquez adalah seorang Phillipines Diva. Coba cari YouTubenya. Versi yang luar biasa. Ada satu bagian yang oleh kedua orang ini ditendang dihajar dimakan habis tinggi banget, di mana mulai dari Jennifer Holiday, Jennifer Hudson, sampe Lakisha Jones ga ambil stinggi itu.

Huwahh.

Btw, tomorrow's gonna be weekend. Hum. Setelah ulangan bio hari ini. Tanya dong, minggu depan hari kamis dan jumat ulangan apa. Ulangan Biologi lagi. T.T God. Guru-guru itu suka menyiksa banget. Enek saya blajar biologi. T.T Argh. Dan, FYI, saya ga punya weekend. Senin ada ulangan Fisika bahan kelas 3 hampir semuanya. See?

T.T

Well. Happy Weekend!