Saturday, June 28, 2008

I think

I think I'm the only one left in this world who is still capable of handling emotions in a very logical and non-destructive manner. Am I the only one who is still using something useful-unless-you-don't-use-it called brain?


Friday, June 27, 2008

you really know where to start

I really love it if I could just talk anything I want to anyone I want to talk to. But sometimes, I love it even more when someone wants me to listen to whatever someone wants to share with me.

It's been forever since I got a warm hug, and this holiday, eventhough it's warm enough with all friends around me who keep making me feel blessed, I still still long for muw. When I get back there, when I eventually have to fly back to PJ, I will have to face another months of desperate longing.

I know, though, when I get back there, things will have changed.

I hope it's a good change.

Sunday, June 08, 2008


A lot of things have happened.

No, I was joking. It's holiday, what do you expect?

Despite the fact that I'm confused myself about whether I'm getting muscular or fatter (I really can't tell), I feel good because of the exercises that have become a sort of routine for me. Mom always complains though, like, how if this will make me addicted and I can never get enough of it, but I guess mom has known me too well that she doesn't want me to change into those headless hunks I often meet in the gym.

Oh and now I guess I've eliminated one phobia off my list. So happy to do that. It's surprising how people often fear about something they haven't faced before. I was one of those people, now I'm not. A progress.

I'm not upset anymore about NUS thingy. Surprisingly, I now start thinking of things I have to think about before flying back to PJ, like where I'm gonna live before august and stuff. Hum. As my stuff are scattered in my friends' places, I literally don't have any place to stay. Haha.

One thing that kept me alive at the moment I got the bad news was how people get back at me about the news. 'It's good to have you around', 'I can still meet you then!', oh how I am so thankful they are there in my life.


Actually I want to write about this. You know, before I got to malaysia, there were a lot of things happened. Some stuff that once were so important, I believe it was a drama and conflict and oh-that's-so-high-school kinds of stuff. And it's obvious, whenever a case happened, it involved someone else. Someone important.

I remember that I was quite upset with this one friend. But what surprises me now is that I can't remember what I was upset about. It's been two years, but I do remember things happened in the very long past vividly so this one is kinda new. I can't recall, I can't remember the conflict. I think I barely remember, but though I'm thinking about it now in a way like why-would-I-get-mad-about-those-kind-of-stuff way. Seriously.

It's either I was very exaggerating stuff and I have become less exaggerating eversince, or simply I am not that person anymore.

Have I changed?

Let's say, it's exactly like the saying: time heals wounds. If that's the case, then I think it's a good thing I've forgot about all those negative moments so that I've moved on unconsciously and we could sort of open a new chapter of our friendship. I then apologized to the person. Not a long time ago. I suddenly felt like apologizing. I felt like I need to as.

Then I pose another question. Did I mess things up? Was it me? Or was it you? If time heals my wound, will it heal your wound too if I did make one? Are we going through the same phase of life although we are thousands of miles apart?

I hope we do.

I hope people do.