blasphemy

Over the last few weeks, I've been pushing myself harder than ever. I don't know whether it's finally enough to please my tutor, or even myself, but all I know I've been trying and pushing in every directions I can think of. But somehow, in the end, what matters is something else to me: there won't be the slightest of regret about this.

Have a nice day, everyone. :)

on that note

I miss Jakarta.

I miss how I could just roam around town and feel comfortable, even if I'm alone. I miss how I know I always come home to my family, at the end of the day.

I miss being alone without having to feel lonely.

don't you ever let me go

Didn't they always say we were the lucky ones..
I guess that we were once, babe, we were once,
but luck will leave you cursed, it is a faithless friend,
and in the end, when life has got you down,
you've got someone here that you can wrap your arms around..

There's a thousand ways for things to fall apart,
but it's no ones fault, no it's not my fault..
Maybe all the plans we made might not work out,
but I have no doubt, even though it's hard to see..
I've got faith in us, and I believe in you and me..

There's so many dreams that we have given up.
Take a look at all we've got,
and with this kind of love,
and what we've got here is enough.

So hold on to me tight..
Hold on, I promise it will be alright..
Cuz we are stronger here together,
than we could ever be alone..

Just hold on to me,
don't you ever let me go.

Michael Buble - Hold On



We are stronger here together..
Just hold on to me,
don't you ever let me go..

minor melody

Sometimes I appreciate the silence when things are silent. But could your mind be in a total silent, with no words said, no alphabets remembered, no pictures reminisced? I am noiseless and full of sound, in my head, usually on friday or saturday nights, when the town greets me with the neon love and lustful lights. I'd choose to be home, to talk to the wall, as i heard walls have ears, and I have fears.

The wall, the canvas bag from the travel fair, the lost deodorant bottle, the heartfucking song from the 90s that I used to listen lovingly, the scattered pieces of my life; they'd all get together and dance and make a little party, you can see them in my balcony claiming their victory, and yeah they would rip me into pieces, shed me some light and remind me that i am only with myself and my crazy head. That'd be when I'd call it a night.

Then I'd dream of dreaming about me walking in that old plaza, thrown back by the scent and the memories pasted on every door I see, they are giant-they are hating me, I'd choose to take a bus home instead, fancying the town naked and the rows, the lanes, the streetlights kissing me goodnight. Lovelight, where should I be? In this town or in your memory, in the morning or by the sea, or in the sight of the old you I once wished free?

My heart is slit by your thin-noiseless minor melody.

right there

I was waiting for you.

yeah fuck it

Let's fuck the fact that I can't let go. I'll try to be less pathetic from now. And when the time comes, you won't hear my name anymore.

foolish things

Things are good.

I work as an intern from 8.30-17.30 weekdays, in a very good, if not the best, architecture firm.

But as I'm listening to Buble's new tunes, I suddenly remember what makes my days: the trip from the firm to Sarinah, Thamrin afterwork, passing through my favorite street scene in Jakarta: the old shady trees, good earthy smell in the afternoon, and the line-up of good ol' colonial architecture buildings. A lovely ride. My favorite part of the day.

God surely knows that I'm thankful, terribly.

And how lovely it is to be able to share with family, all the good and the bad of life, all the beautiful and priceless moments, all, all at once.

And these foolish things remind me of you..

badai

Badai tak pernah hanya menyapa satu pantai.

blue