Thursday, May 29, 2008

quote of the day

'oic.. good to have you around.. '

Thanks. Thanks.

expiry date

I'm expired.

I'm best before last night.

Thanks cad, ta. I appreciate it.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

little light entertainment

I don't make it into NUS.

That's an update.

I don't get into NUS because I'm not that smart. And I may not be able to go to University of Melbourne because I'm not that rich. I have to face it.

I'm looking for a university that appreciate the fact that people can't be all THAT smart and THAT rich.

Those people should really feel lucky because they have at least one of those. Rich or fucking smart.

Sometimes I don't get it. I want to go sulking all day because of this but I know I should have seen this coming, so I will just shut up and write one post. And I really have to let this go.

I was really hoping that I could get in, you know. A little part of me kept on saying this time I could make it. What was I thinking?

See, I still couldn't let go.

I need a slap on my face.

I have to let go.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

i'll be home tonight

I'm going home today..
I believe I've missed each and every face..
get there and play my music..
Turn on every love light in the place..

It's time I found myself..
Totally surrounded in the circles..
Oh oh, my friends..

Please, celebrate me home..

Friday, May 02, 2008

my friend's friend's twin

I just got back from KLCC, celebrating the end of exam with Jessica and Liz. It was real fun for me. Real fun. I can't remember the last time I get to talk and talk and walk and walk and just inhale the air of a shopping center. I love the smell. That's weird.

Anyway, the funny thing happened afterwards.

In the platform where I was waiting for the train, I saw a familiar glimpse of someone. He was familiar. He was waiting for the same train. He was kinda looking at me. After a while I realized that he is my friend's friend who often bumps into me when I'm having dinner or something. He is Maria's friend. Though, I'm not close with Maria, we just happen to greet each other every time we meet, never engage in a conversation. I don't even know his name. And I then thought about it over: is it really the guy? Even if this is the guy, I can't greet him. It takes a name to greet him, and I don't know his name. I also never greet him before, I only greet Maria. But now if I know he's Maria's friend, I bet he knows I'm the guy that often greets Maria, and that will be totally awkward and wrong and bad if I don't greet him. And plus I wasn't so sure.

Fast forward to the moment when I reached my stop, so I got down from the train. He did the same thing, he got down at the same stop. I got my guts. I shouldn't be that cruel.

I greeted: Hey you're just alone? Not with Maria?

It sounds so improper, but I said it in Indonesian coz I was sure he's Indonesian, so he must understand what I'm saying.

He replied: Oh, you're mistaken! I'm not him, I'm his twin..



So they are twins! I'm like acting so cool, he looks at me as if I know his twin well, but in fact, I even never greets his twin! I never know his twin's name! I thought it would be cruel to not greet someone we know that we meet on the train.

I thought the conversation ended already. But I was wrong.

It turns out that he carried on talking about things, asking me things such as where I went just now for what, which term I am in. I'm not a hospitality student, I'm an architecture student, I said. How do you know him then? He was then curious. I saw him several times with my friend, Maria, I said. Oh.

We kept on talking until we had to go our way, he was going to his condo, I was going to mine.

I was quite stunned.

Is this what I've missed all this time? This is new. He is a stranger, someone I thought I knew. I was mistaken about who he is. But we managed to engage in a conversation! I feel bad. I really feel bad. If I were him, I would just walk away, probably. My head would be filled with tons of prejudice and invisible gap, I would feel insecure. But he did not. He talked to me like I'm really his friend, like I was not mistaken, like I correctly recognized him.


I really need to learn this.

And up to this time, I still don't even know his name. His name will be 'someone I met on the train, someone I thought I knew but later I realized that I was wrong, someone that is the twin of someone I knew, someone whose name I never know, was wrong about, and will never know'.

Quite a long name.