I'm at a point where I don't know what I'm doing thinking or feeling. It's not like feeling numb, you know, it's more like it's all so blurry and you don't take time to put those into place, not because you can't, because you just don't want.
My melancholy part is taking me over.
Like. I'm spending the whole day with my roommate, and doing things and eating and doing things and watching movie and talking and suddenly there is something I can't explain, there came something, some rush or what I don't know, when after that, after a long long day, I sat beside the window, and had a view of everything ahead of me, glimpse of lights so wonderful, all afar, and suddenly, hey, I thought about how the day was going, everything was great, despite those things I can't barely feel and I don't know why, like when I threw a party for my roommate, he was having his birthday, we had so much fun with all friends, and I was like close to tears, can I have one more day like today?
With all the unreal feelings and real fun?
Or. Could tomorrow even be better?
I thank God.
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