what studio teaches us

'If you have to try so hard, then something must be wrong..'
Ms Fazween, Design Studio Lecturer.

It was when one of the groups was facing the crits by 3 lecturers, something on the work was pointed out not right, not properly done, wrong. The sentence came up, she said that, and for a second there I was kinda stopped, stunned. Stunned. Shocked. Surprised. Quizzed.

It made me think. Over, and over again. I then reflected.

'If you have to try so hard, then something must be wrong..'

It's genuinely true. True. Isn't it true, isn't it crystal clear? Isn't it something that we always forget, when we push something hard, too hard, for way too long, thinking that it may work, it might work someday, that when it works, all the effort will pay off dearly? We push, and push, and believe in it, and sometimes even when we have to pay it with pain, we snobbishly think that our resistance is what we are proud of, even when we say it with tears, a broken soul, and invisible blood of scars all over ourselves?

'If you have to try so hard, then something must be wrong..'

We forget. I forgot. We always do.
That some things are just not meant to be, not when we are excusing ourselves all this time with an imaginary vision of its working, while we are bleeding all over the place, still trying to put a smile on our faces, proudly calling it faith. Something must be wrong.



Boy she is right.