sighs

Minggu lalu pas gue mutusin hold a selection dan jadi temporary coach while nobody was intended to do so for Binus, ada yang komplain karna gue dirasa terlalu cocky dan kepo untuk ngecoach mereka. Susah banget ya punya sincere intention untuk ngebantu orang.

Kemarin gue nemenin orang naik lift akhirnya malah dimarahin gara2 gue cuma naik 1 lantai doang pake lift, dipermalukan di depan umum.

Hari ini ada anak kelas 2 gak setuju dengan hasil seleksi yang gue hold untuk Binus dan mau ngerubah formasi jadi anak kelas 2 semua yang turun. Well, gue bukan coach EDS, jadi all I could say: I'm only helping you guys out to sort your abilities in debating by holding a selection, but If you think you could have some other better formation for the team, then I would support it, I leave it to you guys to decide, toh sekarang kalian uda kelas 2 dan gue bahkan udah bukan member EDS lagi.

3 hal yang gue lakukan untuk ngebantu orang sincerely gak gitu diappreciate, ya, what can I say? At least I try my best here, if you don't need me I won't exist. For all the good things I'm doing, I'm still considered as the bad guy. Sighs.

Gitu~

Hell yeah

Tomorrow: Mandarin Course, Chemistry Course, EDS Training, an obligation to join my mom attending the GK event in Balai Sarbini in order to fulfill some CSR-thingy.

What I need: a little wandering around town, Thamrin to Senayan, EX to Djakarta Theatre, Jennifer Anniston's The Breakup, some friends to make me laugh my ass off: Thomas Randy As3d Stella Dodo Cumi Ricat Bajaj Kate and all, some warm hug.

Hell, yeah. Kidnap me from hell, bring me some heaven. Happy weekend, guys.

i'm doing just fine

Halo. Saya mau cerita.

Jadi gini: saya punya kebiasaan yang gak pernah dilupain, yaitu setiap jumat malam (WIB: Waktu Indonesian Idol Beres) sebelum tidur saya pasti nyalain radio, 101.0 FM, Radio One One Love session, yang biasanya dibawain sama Tina Zakaria yang terkenal itu (padahal namanya aneh. coba Zakarianya gak ria. Wakakak). Well, selama session itu diputer lagu-lagu cinta yang bagus, mellow, kadang dari 90s kadang lagu yang baru banget. Saya denger Keith Martin - Because Of You 4 bulan sebelum meledak di Indo.

Jumat malam minggu lalu, sebelum tidur, saya nyalain radio, trus saya denger ada satu lagu yang menurut saya masuk kualifikasi lagu bagus saya, dan karna saya gak tau itu yang nyanyi siapa, saya cuma bisa denger reff dan ngetik beberapa kalimat signifikan yang kedengeran, supaya bisa dicari di google besoknya dan download di Limewire. Saya ketik: I'm doing just fine. Penyanyinya saya gak tau siapa.

Well, time went by, saya akhirnya nyari lagu itu. Boyz II Men - I'm Doing Just Fine. Cuma beberapa source yang nyediain lirik ini, gak kayak lagu Boyz II Men yang biasanya banyak banget disediain. Trus saya cari di Limewire, dapet, download, dengerin.

Udah beberapa hari ini saya hanya dengerin satu lagu di PDA kesayangan saya, yaitu lagu ini. Somehow, kena aja lagunya. Suka liriknya, suka melodinya, suka ambiencenya, suka teknik keriting suara mereka yang menurut saya kayak dengerin Keith martin ada segambreng. Rame tapi berkualitas. Secara Boyz II Men, gitu.

Nah. Tadi, pas saya di mobil dengerin lagu ini, saya sadar satu hal. Lagu ini kontradiktif sekali.

There was a time when I thought life was over and out
When you went away from me my dying heart made it hard to breathe
Would sit in my room because I didn't wanna have to go out
and see you walking by one look and I'd break right down and cry
Now you say that you made a big mistake, never meant to take your love away
But you can save your tired apologies, cause it may seem hard to belive but

I'm doin just fine, getting along every well
Without you in my life I don't need you in my life
But I'm, I'm doin just fine
Time made me stronger, you're no longer on my mind

You were my earth, my number one priority
Gave my love to only you, anything you'd ask of me I would do
But somewhere down the road, you felt a change in the weather and told
me that you had to journey on, ah kiss in the wind
and your love was gone
Now you say you never meant to play your games
But girl don't you know It's far too late
Because you let our love just fall apart, you no longer have my heart

When you said goodbye, I felt so all alone
There were time at night I couldn't sleep
My heart was much too weak to make it on my own
Baby after all the misery and pain you put me through
So unfair to me girl, you're no longer my world
and I ain't missin' you at all

Boyz II Men - I'm Doing Just Fine

Intinya, lagu ini cerita ttg seseorang yang udah get over someone yang ngedump dia. Dia nyoba bilang, semuanya udah baik2 aja, dia sendirian dan ga butuh lovernya lagi. Semua yang menimpa dia udah dia maafkan, dan dengan lagu ini, dia ngomong I'm doing just fine. Getting along very well without you in my life. Cerita ttg ketegaran kan? Bahwa dia uda bisa move on dan ngelupain semuanya?

Kalo ada yang pernah denger lagu ini, pasti setuju sama saya. Engga, lagu ini gak cerita ttg itu. Lagu ini cerita ttg seseorang yang bilang 'I'm doing just fine' dengan mata basah, karna sebenernya dia gak tahan tapi dia gak mau membuat beban ke orang lain yang pernah ngedump dia. Percaya deh, lagu ini gak dinyanyiin dengan gaya ketawa-ketawa sombong bahwa 'I'm doing just fine', don't worry about me.

Lagu ini diinterpretasikan sama Boyz II Men dengan keriting-keriting nangis kemana-mana, yang bahkan gaya nyanyi di reff itu terdengar lebih kayak weeping, mencoba tegar tapi gak bisa, mau bohong kalo 'I'm doing just fine', padahal 'I'm broken inside but I can't tell you'. Tau kan gaya kriting2 yang bikin merinding itu? Mereka nyanyi dengan gaya itu not in a tough way, believe me, in a crying way.

Dan percaya deh sama saya, di baris 'I ain't missin you at all' itu beneran kedengeran kayak orang nangis.

Well. It shows that even words could lie. Makanya kalo kita sms orang kita bisa bohong, ngomong iya padahal engga, bilang gak napa2 padahal broken, bilang I've moved on padahal kangen mo nangis. Words could lie. Tapi kalo denger Boyz II Men nyanyi ini, atau siapapun yang nyanyi ini, somehow their voice couldn't lie.

Dan bahkan keriting-keritingan suara Boyz II Men yang harusnya kedengeran toughly keren jadi kedengeran kayak weeping, nyoba untuk nahan nangis dan bilang bahwa sorry, I'm not that tough, but I just don't wanna make you worry about me by saying I'm doing just fine.

So, get my point, guys?

Words could lie. But when I, or maybe someone else sing, you could see me if I were lying. Or if I were not.

*sumpah pasti postingan ini kerasa gak penting, pake nganalisa lirik dan cara nyanyi lagu--huhuhuu*

Download di Limewire and tell me your opinion, guys. Nite.

some acute ramblings I can't control

I just got back from Bandung. I'm confused. Daniel Powter's Free Loop is singing in my head. In my heart? Owh. I forgot that tomorrow will be a holiday. I can't use a driver tomorrow. I have to plan tomorrow carefully. I need to rest. I got one new Reebok school bag cheering me up. I'm full. Go or don't. Hold or let go. Give or not. Miss or not. I'm confused. I don't know what I need right now. Oh. I need some rest. I need to plan for Tuesday. No. I need to plan for tomorrow first. I'm tired. I sense something but I don't know what it is. Mixed signals. Respond or not. Hope or not. Prepare for the worst. Sad. I think I know something. Gotta give up. No. Gotta rest first. Are things decided in tiredness able to give betterment. Oh. No. Ah. Sick. Tired. Confused. Free. Loop. Go. You. Just. Go. Ah. Fine. Nite.

yesterday

Uhm. Right now, I kinda miss you, guys. Sometimes I'm just tired of missing one person, so now, I miss my friends.

Yesterday was a blast. Untuk pertama kalinya bisa ngumpul sama temen2 yang lumayan nyambung dan asik. Pertama kali? Iya. Saya gak bisa nyalahin Randy yang pas tadi malam saya sms 'ngajak2 lagi ya kalo ada acara serupa' dia bales dengan 'iya lah, cuma lu kan suka sibuk gitu bek'. Well. I realise, now. Sometimes, I have to have some time off with my friends.

Kalo boleh jujur sama mereka, dari sekian banyak alasan saya jarang ikut acara ngumpul bareng temen, saya kadang mempertanyakan ke'get along'an saya sama mereka. Ya, itu hanya satu dari sekian banyak alasan yang contohnya: saya memang lagi gak bisa pergi. Tapi kadang suka nanya, secara saya orangnya parno-an, saya takut aja sampe pas jalan2, saya gak bisa get along sama mereka. Padahal di sekolah, orang2 inilah yang saya anggep deket sama saya.

Anak2 2A1: Randy, Meno, Thomas, As3d, Kate, Tella, Richard, Hendro, Chika, dan semua yang saya gak bisa sebutin satu-satu.. Sori ya kalo selama ini saya susaaaaaaah banget diajak jalan2. Gak maksud, bener gak maksud. I regretted it. Sori ya.

Kemarin, setelah akhirnya saya bener-bener pasti bahwa gak ada jadwal yang bentrok sama invitation mereka, saya pergi sama mereka. Ber7: Saya, Meno, Randy, Thomas, As3d, Tella, Richard. Ke PURI, nonton Silent Hill (iyuh banget filmnya), ketawa-ketawa di Wendy's, karaokean di Happy Puppy, trus nyari WC di PURI, trus ke TA, trus ke Apartemen Thomas, baru pulang.

Uhm. Mungkin buat kalian ini udah biasa, ngumpul bareng2 gini, tapi buat saya, this was a real blast, saya normally jarang banget bisa pergi sama temen, gak ada waktu, ada date, and so on so forth. Tapi. Kemarin. Seneng banget. Akhirnya, I made it up to them. Bisa nemenin mereka, ketawa-ketawa, teriak-teriak, jayus-jayusan, nyanyi-nyanyi. Seneng banget.

Jujur, saya gak gitu enjoy Silent Hillnya, dan karaokeannya, karna saya takut sama film horror dan saya lagi batuk parah gak bisa nyanyi, satu kata batuk satu kata batuk. But, honestly, the best part is when I was together with them, you guys, and it cheered me up. Thank you, guys, I owe you guys much.

Apalagi sekarang saya uda gak satu kelas sama mereka. Sedih sih. Soalnya, saya gak begitu get along sama anak2 sekelas. Engga ato belum, ya? Semoga aja sesegera mungkin. Not trying? Gak ah, udah cukup nyoba mingle sama mereka.

Ho. So. Thx guys for making me happy yesterday. It was a real blast for me, personally.



Uhh. Pengen sms tapi hari ini XL saya udah masuk masa tenggang. --;
Dan saat ini saya lagi nunggu orang untuk ngehubungin saya setelah gak ada kabar dari jam 2an tadi. Payah.

I guess, I'm just a freakass.

Without realizing that I'm in a week full of science tests, I dare join this speech competition and work my ass off eventhough it has only been one week since I did debating in SMAN 8 Debate competition for 3 days and I missed so many lessons at school. Yesterday I just realized that I hadn't recovered yet from fever and I was still having sorethroat and cold, and now the sorethroat gets worse.

Just, I don't know my limit. I even thought I had none. And in the end, I push myself too hard.

Argh. Need a blue sky holiday!!!!!!

indonesian idol 2

Jadi inget. Dulu. Saat Indonesia lagi ribut soal siapa yang lebih keren: MIKE atau JUDIKA, yang mana bahkan di kelas saya terbagi dua kubu: penggila MIKE dan pemuja JUDIKA, saya gag ambil pusing.

Mau MIKE yang menang, atau JUDIKA yang menang, dua-duanya menurut saya luar biasa. MIKE yang punya suara khas soul-ist, yang keritingnya bisa bikin semua orang nangis terharu dan punya kharisma seorang idola di atas panggung, atau JUDIKA yang performancenya bisa bikin penyanyi pop indonesia bahkan senior jadi kelihatan sungguh luar biasa bodoh.

Saya gag peduli. Toh siapapun yang menang, dua-duanya udah menang. Final yang paling ditunggu. Final yang ketat banget. Dan dua orang bersuara luar biasa dengan kharisma dan performance masing-masing yang sanggup membuat banyak orang berpikir sama kayak saya: siapapun yang menang, gag peduli, dua-duanya keren banget.

Hasilnya 52 persen voters memilih MIKE dan sisanya untuk JUDIKA. Kalah 2 persen. Karna dua-duanya hampir sama kuat. Kuat KUALITASnya, maksud saya. MIKE udah ngeluarin album, saya udah beli, dan menurut saya albumnya luar biasa. Sebuah final dan edisi Indonesian Idol yang pas, mengingat Indonesian Idol 1 dirubung banyak masalah (Delon and Joy thingy~). Saya masih inget, setelah malamnya result show FINAL, dan MIKE terpilih, besok paginya ada satu foto luar biasa: Mike lagi nyanyi dengan buket bunga di lengannya, confetti yang bertebaran, dan landscape panggung pemenang. Dan, percaya atau engga, itulah HEADLINE Kompas hari itu.

Tapi sekarang? Bagaimana dengan Final IHSAN vs DIRLY?

Well. Answer that yourself.

Nice day.

go

Everytime we say goodbye. I die a little.
Everytime we say goodbye. I wonder why a little.
Why the gods above me. Who must be in the know.
Think so little of me. They allow you to go
But how strange the change. From major to minor.
Everytime we say goodbye..

debating days

Well. Let me give you guys reasons why I haven't showed up for the last 3 days. Wed - Thu - Fri.

Today's Sunday, btw.
It's because of debating.

In Smukie, we have english debating teams. Me, Valesca, and Maya as SMUK 1 B team, and Andre P, Andre S, and Leah as SMUK 1 A team. Both teams went to Indonesia Banking School at Kemang Raya to join 3-day-English Debating Competition held by SMAN 8 Schoolympics Event.

# Whoa. Debating, again? Yeah. Never get enough of this rush of doing debate. Well, the last time I went debating it was the ISDC selection, and after this competition, I have another ISDC selection. It's gonna be an early practice.

# 3 days not going to school? So yeah. Miss my friends so much, have to leave them for 3 days and just, I lose the bond a bit.

# Hard days? Er yeah. I have to research my matter like hell, then now I know US new Immigration policy, US economy policy on Palestine, Internationality marriage, Labor Bill, Darwin's theory, and stuff and stuff. 20 pages with 9-sized-letter. What do you expect?

# Still doing tests (read: Chemistry test on Tue, Math test on Wed, Biology test on Thu)? Yeah, teachers are never gonna care whether I'm in competition or not. They basically don't care, even if they know, they think it's an easy game, not a competition. Sick.

In preliminary rounds, SMUK 1 B team was being the clean-sweepers (thank God for this, with full victory point of 5 out of 5 rounds (thank God again). We was in the first position over 14 teams. I got 2 prizes for being the bestspeaker of the round (thank God again), I got 1 cap from The Jakarta Post (argh I love the cap) and 1 month free subscription of The Jakarta Post. Well then, we broke into quarter finals, won, then went to semifinals.

We met SMAN 34, which had Andrew 34 as Jakarta 2nd Best Speaker for ISDC, and upon the motion of THBT Saving The Environment is The First Priority, we lost. There were 5 adjudicators, and 2 of them gave the winning to us, but slightly, the other 3 as majority gave the winning to SMAN 34. We lost then. SMAN 34 in the end met SMA Sang Timur (with Yove as Jakarta 1st Speaker in the ISDC selection) in the final, and SMAN 34 won the final with unanimous decision of 7 to 0.

# Sad because of the loss? Not really. Noticing that we had won over SMAN 34 2 times in the preliminary rounds, and that we lost with split decision of 3 to 2, better than being kicked off unanimously. Still thank God, though.

So. That's the story of the last 3 days. Tiring. Imagine that when I'm with headache in my sleepy head after debating the whole day, I still have to study biology and rest and research more matter. Phew. Now, I'm over it. Debating competition has ended, and I have to face the real schooldays next week. Will so miss the debating days.

Have a good-non-debating-weekend!