I miss Jakarta. Terribly.

The smell of this cold wind with a slight earthy scent after a rain.

A smell of Jakarta.

A smell that I miss.

all in good time!

You see, it's so hard to find the proper words to utter this.

3 weeks ago, when I was in Jakarta for a short holiday, I said to myself that I want to do my internship in Jakarta. Everything is gonna be much simpler. I can enjoy my holiday, meet my friends, and also the trip to Hongkong will not be bothered much.

I was then busy doing the portfolio for days, composing my resume, and putting it together in a very short period. I was to fly back on the next Sunday, and it could only, only work if everything was according to my plan. I printed everything on Thursday, which left me one single day only to send the package of resumes out to the firm's addresses.

On the day, I sent it out to Aboday Architects in Kemang, Airlangga Architeam in Tebet, and Airmas Asri in Cikini. Isn't it wonderful to know that every one of the firm uses the letter A in the names?

The list came not from nowhere. I did a lot of researches to find out the interesting architecture companies/firms in Jakarta, that stand out and have their projects featured in fancy magazines and web pages. I went to bookstores just to browse and read through the architectural magazines that have featured buildings from Indonesia.

Only after I sent out the resumes to them, I found out that although Airlangga and Airmas are responsible for a lot of big and new projects, Airmas Asri topped the chart as the best Indonesian architecture firm in 2008, I read it in one of the pages I can't recall now.

To cut the story short, I was then waiting for their replies. I haven't heard from them since, and when I let my friends see my resumes, they don't see how the companies are gonna accept me, as my resumes are designed by breaking the rules and all. I do know that, and I'm totally aware of that, so I said to them: I only want to work in a firm where they appreciate my resume.

And you know what.

I got the e-mail this morning. I got in. Airmas Asri.

I can't tell you how happy I am. I am terribly happy. One thing is confirmed: I don't need to worry about this anymore.

I'm gonna do my internship in PT Airmas Asri, Jakarta, for 8 weeks, starting late of May. That means I'm gonna work in Cikini. That means I'm gonna be close to Thamrin, everyday. The town. Jakarta. I will be working at the heart of it.

I thank God. A thousand times.

Mom. For praying for me everyday.

Dad. For giving me this wonderful talent.

Kutit. For being my eternal laughter.

Ci Pris. For making me grow up even more.

Muw. For always being there for me.

And everyone.

I'm very nervous now, I know I'm gonna survive this, but I need you all to help me along the way.





You know what's funny. The first ever rain since 3-4 weeks ago just poured this afternoon. I feel congratulated.

I'm happy.

weekend

This week feels so fast.

It's weekend already. Putting aside the fact that I still have 1. studio work 2. student society work 3. photography club work 4. portfolio work (DAMN THIS IS LONG), I'm still going to have fun tomorrow. Gym sessions, movies, one good valentine's day dinner, meditation sessions, and did I say 'fun'?

Yeah. And precisely next week, it's the Cameron Highlands site surveying/visit trip. 3D2N. It's still studio work and yeah I'm gonna start working my ass off for that one, but hey, it's still a holiday. Close enough.

Have I said too many 'yeah's?

Oh yeah.

Have a nice weekend, you.

ha!

The concept of minimalism is to relax. Like a Zen monk in training, it is something that brings equilibrium to the heart.
- Takashi Murakami

Great art is about heightening our experiences. To me, the minimalist aesthetic is the most humanist of all, one that elicits the full power of all our senses.
- Richard Meier

The comforting words come from 2 great architects/artists.
I'm going on with my design.

Lemme introduce to you..

World, Jakarta. Jakarta, World.

Image courtesy of Wikipedia.

this is the answer, let's make it big

And no, I'm not facing some 'pergumulan jiwa' that I get lost in whatever I'm in and that I need help. I'm very fine (except economically), very happy, and not lonely at all.

shame on you!

Let's talk about shame.

I just realised something. When you're a very small kid, when you take your bath or after taking a bath, your mom often tells you to wrap yourself in a towel, or to close the door. You feel nothing, but your mom's panicking and starts saying: 'Shameful, you! It's a shame to be naked like that. Shameful!'

The word 'shame' repeats in a daily basis, until you agree and say 'yeah, it's a shame to do this: i'll cover myself with a towel.'

So, you see, this culture has always been and is being inherited, being passed down to their kids, us, and later, our kids. This 'shame' culture is not only applicable in 'bathing' and 'naked' context, but everything that makes your or my or our people go 'shame on you', over a non-standard act that we do.

To me, this is frustrating.

I don't think this is what we should be proud of. Being set by a standard that is passed down generation by generation, I don't agree when we must be told (or sub-consciously taught) to FEEL in a particular way. To FEEL something we are SUPPOSED to feel, when we actually DON'T feel it.

Ah, you're a puppet on a string, aren't you?

Even more sadly, in the end, we actually feel like feeling it, giving in to whatever standards that are being thrown at us. Feel like that, do like that, move like that, love like that, walk like that, run like that, LIVE LIKE THAT.

Given that we are naturally-unique creative-born individuals that learn to live and survive by experiences, I must say this culture is totally idiotic.

Counting that I've lived most of my lifetime with the standards of everything people are told and have been telling me, I could only say my unique and creative self has been partly paralyzed.

And that's so sad, because when I realize this, I know that there are people out there that can't get what I'm saying and they will live the rest of their lives dictated by standards people make for them, without even realizing it. So sad.

At least, I share this to you, so you have something to think about.



Have a nice eve!

why

You know why I did decide to go out today?

It's like the reason of why people go clubbing. In a totally different, wayyy less pricey, wayyy more positive, and wayyyy more healthy way. When people go clubbing in order to have fun with the loud music, cigarettes, and alcohol (which in the outside to me personally it does nothing to them except the so-called 'fun' part, and that's pretty much all), I go out to have fresh air.

I need that, I need to see new things, I need to be in a creative environment, I need to see beautiful things, I need to be all alone, I need to be comfortable, I need to really like what I see. For what purposes? Creative purposes. It helps me think, digest, and re-discover what I often miss when I'm being faced to a routine.

The good thing of it is that it works for me, all the time.
And that's one of the very few things that keeps me sane.






Let's re-question me.

So why, again, did I decide to go out today?

I tried to find something that went missing during the design process of Studio work this week. Which is very important, cuz we really need to confirm with everything or not at all. Either I get what I'm looking for, or I rethink the whole design all over again.

And you know what?

I've found it.

shyt

I don't get it.

I canceled watching movie and going to starbucks today (something I haven't done since I came back here again, and something I don't regularly do--except occasional once-a-week movie time), and I ended up in a food court with a cup of Nescafe over ice. I didn't end up buying a beautiful pair of Reebok shorts that's on 40% discount to a very affordable 40rm price. I didn't have my haircut in one of the expensive place, I always do it in X-cut, a place where they charge only 15rm per head.

I bought lunch, dinner, 3rm-nescafe, a packet of veggies for another dinner, 10rm DIGI top-up (which was just finished after my last call), and 15rm haircut.

AND YET.

I FEEL BAD.

This is so sick, man.

I don't over spend. I didn't buy a fancy pair of full-priced or even discounted-priced Reebok gym shorts that I need. I didn't buy fancy dinner and lunch. I didn't watch a movie.

And I still feel like the poorest man in the world. The ironic part is that, yes, maybe I am.

It's NOT that i'm not thankful. I'm very thankful. But shouldn't I be able to afford those simple things? Am I like asking for a glorious allowance to be overspent in daily basis?

No. I don't think so.

Something is wrong.

Shit.

I just don't get it.

monumental

To me, something is often seen 'very good' not when it's good as a whole, but when it has a memorably surprising moment in it. Something that I didn't particularly expect before enjoying it, something that is alienly interesting and funny or good.

In the movie 'Love Actually', what keeps me watching it over and over again until now is the scene of Hugh Grant doing speech after the visit of US President, that scene is brilliant, and this one scene:

+ "Shit, I can't believe I've just said that. And now I've gone and said "shit" - twice. I'm so sorry, sir."
- "It's fine, it's fine. You could've said "fuck," and then we'd have been in real trouble."
+ "Thank you, sir. I did have an awful premonition that I was gonna fuck up on the first day. Oh, piss it!"

In the movie 'Les Choristes', what keeps me watching it over and over again is the scene which starts with 'April, These kids inspire me' and the scene when Baldy got fired, and numerous paper aeroplane were flown from the window. Extremely touching.

In the Thai movie 'Hormones', which I've been watching for like 100 times since I had it in my computer, I can say there are almost 5 scenes that I fall in love with. But this one, I have to say, is the most memorable..


OH SHIT. I can't make up my mind. Here's another two monumentally memorable scenes from that movie.







Have a nice day!

pulang

Beberapa langkah kaki cepat mengikuti suara besi gembok dari pintu pagar tua yang beradu, dan sampai pada satu waktu ketika serangkaian penantian itu melepas, maka ia pun berlepas, berlari masuk ke dalam rumah tua yang entah berapa tahun tak pernah sekali pun ia kembali.

Deru seperti seribu langkah beradu dengan ubin dingin, menghambur keluar seperti penantian yang selalu ditunggu-tunggu, seperti udara Januari yang seketika menjadi hangat; mereka berpelukan dalam gelap karena mereka tahu tak ada lagi yang tak terayakan kali ini, ia kembali.

Satu-satu dari mereka menyampaikan salam ke surga, menghantar ribuan kalimat terima kasih, ke tiap tiap dari tuhan mereka, ribuan kali mengucap dan menengadah dengan haru yang jatuh tulus, selagi pipi-pipi itu tertawa dan tersenyum dan berpelukan dan bernyanyi dalam diam.

Tidak hanya satu rumah, tapi juga berjuta rumah lain di tiap petak belahan bumi, di mana jiwa-jiwa yang rindu telah kembali ke rumah; pulang, ke halaman diri.

Rumah itu hanya di gang kecil, dan di luar terasap entah dingin atau rokok yang terhisap, jalanan becek, hawa berangin malam dingin habis hujan, gelap hanya temaram lampu jalan yang menerangi waktu; ketika aku berjalan melewati rumah itu, aku tahu.

Aku lalu memanggil bulan untuk menyibak tingkap gelap, aku memanggilnya untuk merayakan;

Pulang.